Ch.3 Hatered

Recap: Ch.2 (Where'd you Go?)

But I could feel my blood boiling,


*beep...beep*
*beep...beep*



And then it all went black...
     "Brooke?!"

Ch.2: Where'd You Go

Recap: (Ch. 1: I Promise)

We were about 20 minutes away from being home and we, well I, was jamming to "Party" and the whole time Joshua was laughing at me singing off key. "If Beyonce heard you singing her song like that she would sue you."
     "Shut up punk! I can sing," I said while laughing.
     "Yea, If you say so..."
     I was about to make a left turn and out of no where...
"BOOM!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

     "Fuck you bitch!"
     "No fuck you! All you care about is your fucking drugs Josh! You don't even care about your own children!"
     "That's not my fucking daughter! Shit with a whore as a wife that may not be my son!"

     That was the first time I heard my mom and Josh really argue. I was locked in my room, only 12-years-old holding on tight to my 3-year-old brother as I sat Indian style, rocking, with him on my lap. I didn't understand why my mother was accusing the man I saw as my only father figure of doing drugs; and, I definitely didn't know what type of drugs they were. 
     But soon enough, after hundreds of fights which were once before about my mom wanting Josh to stop using then later turning into who snorted the most coke up their nose and who's next check would pay for more, I grew to hate the man my baby brother called "daddy" and my mom married and got strung out on cocaine with. 
     Hell, after so many years and all the times I had heard him not claim me and make me feel like I didn't belong in their "happy little family," the more I grew to loath even the sound of his damn voice. And the more I listened to him beat on my mother because they had run out if drugs the more I really knew that I actually didn't belong in their family.
     I knew my brother and I just didn't deserve this much dysfunction. Every since then, I vowed to ALWAYS protect my brother and somehow I would figure out how to get us out of their family. Even if it's just me and him, that's all I need for it to be a real happy family. Me and my brother..."MY BROTHER!!!"
     "Mam, are you ok? Mam, can you hear me? What's your name?"
     "My brother! Where's my brother?!?!" I could feel my head pounding and I just couldn't seem to control the warmness running down my face. I didn't know if all of it was just my tears or if the pounding side of my head was pouring blood down my face, but I didn't care. For now, forget about the pounding, forget the stinging feeling all over my face and hands. I just needed to find my baby brother.
     "Mam, we need you to calm down and stay still..."
     "But where is my brother!?"
     "Ma...m"
     "No! Stop calling me mam! I'm 16, my name is Brooke Michelle and I want to know where my little brother is now! His name is Joshua Grey!"
     "He is on his way to the hospital, just calm down. We will take you as soon as a paramedic gets you patched up."
     "Oh no! What have I done??? God please. God please. God please let him be ok. Please. Please. Please."
     As the paramedic checked me for any other possible wounds I just sat there slightly rocking the way I did with Joshua back in my room with warm salty tears that burned the small scratches and scrapes on my face tumbling slowly down the blank slate once known as my face. All I could do was mumble what was to me the only version of a prayer that I could utter, "God please...God please." 
     "Brooke??? Do you want to go to the hospital?"
     "Yes! I have to see my brother!"
     "No, you. Do you want to see a doctor?"
     "I just want to check on my brother. Then I can check on me."
The officer and the paramedic agreed that I was in a good enough condition, physically to go see him. Even if they didn't agree, I think they knew that they wouldn't be able to stop me from seeing him.
     As we walked up to the clerk's desk at the hospital, I informed them of my name, my brother's name, and for what use, I don't know, I gave them my mom's name and number.
     The doctor came up to me and informed me that My little brother was in the ICU and that he was stable.
     "He has a few bumps and bruises here and there but for the most part he seems to be doing fine. He's heavily sedated due to the medicine that will help ease the pain because he has a broken rib. So, he probably won't be awake for a couple more hours or so."
     I looked into this man's eyes as if he was the savior of my soul. I just needed him to tell me good news and that it wasn't as bad as I expected because I just couldn't handle the thought of something being wrong with my brother, and I was the cause of it.
     The doctor led me over to the window that framed the the saddest view of my baby brother hooked up to tubes and cords.
     The tears began to fall as I slowly walked into the empty hospital room of a 7-year-old little boy with no mother or father standing by his bedside, hopelessly waiting for their child to regain conscientiousness. It was just me alone with my brother, listening to the subtle yet so reassuring "beep beep" of his heart on the monitor. So, I pulled up a chair and I let the tears flow from my eyes as I held his little, barely warm hand.
     All that I could think of was my mother getting high with Josh while we were sitting here alone and in pain. I wanted to call my grandma back in New York so bad, but something inside of me was happy still. Everyone would finally know the truth behind "our happy little family"  and my life with my brother could begin. I didn't know where we would go besides back to New York, but I didn't care. 
     Maybe then I could go somewhere without having to think that my brother might be getting beat, yelled at, or worse; he gets into the drugs that my mom leaves in the urn that used to be filled with Josh's grandfather's ashes until she decided to make that her hiding spot because Josh just always talks to to it, never even touching it. No one else is supposed to touch it either, but hey, someone's got to "clean it." But, she keeps the real ashes tucked away in an old Oxy-clean  bucket in the cleaning close; so, she can put them back when the urn is "low or empty."
     After sitting with my brother for three hours he finally opened his eyes only to tell me that he loved me for always being there and that he was still really sleepy; so, I told him he could go back to sleep and I would still be here. Finally, after two more hours passed with me in the same spot holding on to my brother's hand, in walks my mother.
     With her hair in a loose bun with sections of hair flowing around her face and neck, she repeatedly sniffed and rubbed her nose, "So is he okay Brooke?"
     Looking down, trying really hard not to feel hatred towards the woman that gave birth to me, I mumbled, "Yes, but he has a broken rib."
     "Oh that's good," she said with a slight smile and started a quick motion towards the door to leave.
     I quickly stood up to confront her for even having the thought, "All you ca say is 'that's good'? Your children, you hear that multiple!? Your CHILDREN were in a car crash and you don't care enough to ask about both of us, let alone tell us you love us and embrace us as a normal mother would? As the woman I knew as MY mother would?"
     "I am your mother! I just..."
     "You're high mom. How can you care when you're high?" With tears beginning to roll down my cheeks I said, " 'how can you you care when you're high Josh!?' Remember those arguments? Now you're on the other side and I'm you this time. Mom, why can't you stop? Why won't you care?"
    My heart was pounding and my brain was racing. I kept starring at her trying to see the picture perfect woman that I used to know as my mother, "my mommy," but I couldn't see her. My vision was getting blurry and more tears fell as I focused in on the "beep beep" of my brother's heart on the monitor as he slept through it all. My legs felt weak and so did everything else. 
     I did'nt know why I felt like this,

*beep...beep* 

and I surely dont know where I got the courage

*beep...beep*

 to express my love and hate for my mother to my mother.

*beep...beep*


But I could feel my blood boiling,


*beep...beep*
*beep...beep*



And then it all went black...
     "Brooke?!"

By: @illfollowubak

 

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Ch. 1: I Promise

     I never thought I would be here. Here goes nothing. "Can I talk to you?"
     "Sure." (tells her team to excuse her)
     "Hi my name is Brooke Michelle and I am 16-years-old. I live in Washington with my mom and my 7-year-old brother Joshua. Oh yea, and my mom's husband Josh. I don't like him so much but I'll get to that later."

*Brooke hears screams*

     "Ugh! There they go again." Then I hear a little knock at my bedroom door so I get up to answer my door. "Yes?"
     "It's me, Joshua. Can I come in here with you sister?"
I hate when he looks so sad, "Come on boo." He goes straight to my bed and I close and join him. We just lay and stare up at the ceiling. 
     Then Joshua turned over and asked me, "Sister? Why don't you like my daddy?"
I was taken back by that question. I didn't know if i wanted to tell him the truth or just play it off. But I couldn't lie to him. So, I took a deep breath and just when i was about to speak,
     "WAM!!!" my mom busted into my room and started yelling at me and my brother, "Get ya'll lazy asses up and go clean up my house!"I really hate when she gets high. She is such a bitch! 
     At first me and my brother didn't move until Josh came in. "You all heard what she said. Get up and get the shit done!"
     If only looks could kill. I rolled my eyes and grabbed Joshua's hand and when I was walking out of the door my mom hit me in the back of my head and said, "Roll ya eyes again." If she wasn't my mother I would have slapped her and told her to never put her hands on me again! But, I just continued to walk. 
    Still holding Joshua's hand, I looked around to see where the mess was only to see Joshua's papers or what ever he was doing. 
     "Now Joshua why didn't you pick up your stuff?"
     "Because, I was sitting down drawing before my dad came home and him and mom started arguing and that's when I got up and came to your room because I didn't want to hear them."
     I understood what he was saying, that's exactly why I stay in my room all the time. "Well, Joshie pick up your stuff. Are you hungry?"
     "Yes!"
     "Ok, well clean your mess up and we will leave to get us something to eat."
     I went back to my room to get my keys. Then I went to knock on my mom's room door, only to get no answer; so, I knew what they were doing. I just rolled my eyes and walked away from the door.
     "Joshua are you ready? Come on." 
     We got in the car and Joshua asks, "Brooke do we have to listen to Beyonce? Can we listen to something else?"
     "I started to laugh, "No we don't but on the way back I'm putting her back on." So I put my Watch The Throne CD in Joshua started laughing, so I asked, "What's so funny sucka?"
     "Cause, I asked can we play something else besides Beyonce, and you play her husband" he says while still shaking his head and laughing. I didn't get his point, so I just left it alone and pulled off. We ended up going to this dinner not too far from our house. We decided we were going to eat in, so we sat down and ordered our food. 
     As we were eating I noticed that something was wrong with Joshua. He had something on his mind. "Joshua, what's the matter?"
     "Nothing."
     "Don't lie to me. You know you can tell me anything. I am your sister and you can always talk to me."
     He took a deep breath, "Brooke I don't want you to leave this Summer because I just feel so alone and I have no one to talk to. You know how mom is, all she do is stay in the room then she comes out yelling about something I didn't do."
     "Has she ever hit you?"
     He puts his head down.
     "Joshua! Has she ever hit you while I was gone? Answer me."
     He looked up with tears in his eyes, "Yes. You remember last Summer when I told you I broke my finger playing basketball?"
     "Yes, I remember."
     "Well, I lied. Mom did it and she told me to tell who ever asked that I was playing basketball."
     That's when I started to get upset because I didn't know my mom was putting my baby brother that much pain. "I'm so sorry Joshie. I didn't know. I will never leave you again, I promise."
     I got up to hug him and we hugged for so long that Joshua finally said, "Ok sister, dang can we go now?"
     It was kind of funny because I didn't feel like we were actually hugging that long. But, I love him so much. I would never let anything bad happen to him as long as I was around. "Ok, let's go"
     We got in the car but before I pulled off I had to put my Beyonce back in and Joshua just shook his head and started laughing. "What's funny?"
     "You! Can you go a day without listening to her?"
     "You are such a hater I swear," I said while giggling at my littler brother trying to make fun of me.
     "No I am not. I like Beyonce, but I'm not crazy over her like you. Aye what ya'll call ya'llselves? Beyturoge?"
     "Really Joshua? Don't get beat up, and it's BEYHIVE and don't you forget it," I replied while laughing but very serious.
      "Well EX-cuse me," he said jokingly.
     "Now, let's go." I pulled off.
     We were about 20 minutes away from being home and we, well I, was jamming to "Party" and the whole time Joshua was laughing at me singing off key. "If Beyonce heard you singing her song like that she would sue you."
     "Shut up punk! I can sing," I said while laughing.
     "Yea, If you say so..."
     I was about to make a left turn and out of no where...
"BOOM!"

By: @pattybey_tweetn

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